On October 03, 2009, I will be getting married.
This blog will follow how we intend to put together a wedding and reception in just 75 days. I hope to share all the fun, anxiety, and joy in planning our big day as well as all the problems and prejudices we encounter on our way toward same-sex matrimony.
Fist things first. My name is Jeffrey, I am a 41, Canadian, male, and gay. The Partner is 43, also Canadian, also male, and (of course) also gay.
Our wedding will be the first same-sex marriage in my family (though I am hardly the only homosexual in the clan) and, since my family is Southern Baptist and the Partner’s is devout Catholic. This should be interesting (and perhaps quite sparse) as both families are peppered with an assortment of bigots and homophobes.
The Partner and I have decided against a big church wedding, and will instead have a small intimate gathering at a friend’s home here in Toronto. Since I am an atheist, I would never get married in a church – not even one of those gay welcoming tolerant churches with rainbow flags draped over the alter. And it’s never been my style to ask for anyone’s blessing but my own.
Thus, god is not invited to our wedding. I have already chosen a non-religious humanist officiant to perform the ceremony. I hope she says as little as possible.
Yet the question remains to whether our invitees will show up – but they have been invited so the ball is in their court. The invitations went out last week and I’m waiting for the RSVP cards. I certainly don’t want anyone there who isn’t totally supportive (or if they’re not totally supportive then they could at least buy a place setting or two).
Other than the fact we are both men, I assume that the wedding planning will go pretty much the same as straight couples. After all, how different could it be? There are caterers and florists to find, rings to look for, registering, and we need a photographer. Also willing to answer any questions about the matrimonial process here in Canada (a great place to be a gay man, by the way).
So I suppose my wedding will not be very big nor very fat, but it will be gay – as far as there will be two grooms who love one another and who intend to spend their lives together. Perhaps I should have titled this ‘My Small Sophisticated Gay Wedding’.
75 days and counting.
Jeffrey, The Gay Groom.