The Last Fifteen Pounds

I often wonder what motivates straight men to go to the gym?  I mean, at least I get to catch a glimpse of naked guys in the locker-room for my trouble…

I just returned from the gym where I have been working out for the last few months in an attempt to lose some weight before the wedding (my mother used to call it ‘reducing’ in her Jack LaLanne days).  It seems that over the last decade, I’ve been putting on a pound or two every year… until your humble blogger was carrying an extra twenty-five (alright, maybe thirty) pounds.

And today (after countless kilometers on the treadmill, dumbbell curls, bench presses, and living on 1400 calories a day) with sixty-eight days until the wedding, I’ve lost about half of the weight I hoped to.  Now I only have about fifteen to go, but the last fifteen seems much harder to lose than the first fifteen.

What gives?

Not that I’m (so very) vain.  But I do want to look good for my wedding.  After all, I’m now forty-one years old.  How much longer before I look like Miss Havasham at the wedding table?  Besides, just how many weddings can one gay man have?  Actually, if you live in Canada, a gay man can have as many weddings as he wants I suppose – however your humble blogger intends to have only one.

And I want to look as good as a forty-one year old Gay Groom can.

“How can you be so superficial?” a militant friend of mine recently said to me.  “Don’t y0u know our brothers and sisters have fought long and hard and are STILL fighting for the right to marry… and you’re worried about how you look?”

Is that so wrong? I wondered.  Along with the rights and responsibilities of marriage (which neither your humble blogger nor his Partner take casually), can’t we also toss in a little bit of the superficial, sexy and fun into our wedding just as our straight counterparts do?  Besides, my militant friend, you’re not spending hours at the gym each week building up your biceps and chest to further your political cause.

So I’m waiting a few more weeks before buying a suit for the wedding.  I should lose the fifteen pounds by then (hope springs eternal) and the photographer will be able to take my photo from any angle – ah, almost.   So there are countless more kilometers 0n the treadmill ahead of me as my ‘reducing’ continues over the summer.

But looking good for the wedding is only half of it.  A week after getting hitched, the Partner and I are off on our honeymoon: a big gay Atlantis cruise from Los Angeles to Mexico (I will devote a blog about our honeymoon cruise and Atlantis soon).  I’ve been doing squats since January so my ass would look good in a pair of swim trunks.  I don’t want to risk sounding immodest, but I do have to admit that my ass is looking pretty good at the moment.

Now, if you will excuse your humble blogger, I must get down on my living-room floor and do the crunches that I skipped while at the gym this morning.   For it seems that even naked men in the locker-room can motivate The Gay Groom only so much in the mornings.

68 days (and 15 pounds) to go.

Jeffrey, The Gay Groom



Filed under gay, gay atheist, gay canada, gay groom, gay men, gay toronto, gay wedding, gaygroom, same-sex marriage, wedding

6 responses to “The Last Fifteen Pounds

  1. “I often wonder what motivates straight men to go to the gym?”


    As in, trying to look a certain way so as to attract them. 🙂

    • gaygroom

      Ah, we’re not so very different are we?

      • To be fair, if every time I went to a gym I had the opportunity to see many naked and undressing people to whom I was attracted, I would probably live there.

      • Even the thought of all those attractive naked men being there isn’t sufficiently motivating for me to overcome the to-the-point-of-nausea-in-the-pit-of-my-stomach hatred of gyms; and, after all, I can use the Internet to fill up my attractive naked men meter, and I don’t even have to leave the house or break a sweat.

        And those Atlantis cruise adverts really intimidate me, even though I’ve had lots of friends who’ve gone on Atlantis cruises reassure me that many of the passengers have normal, non-gym-rat middle-aged bodies like mine, and that not everyone who books a cruise with Atlantis has to look like the porn stars in the ads. Still, I’ve still been unable to work up the nerve to book an all-gay cruise, so the one cruise we’ve done (and the other we’ll be doing this fall) are with the traditional cruise lines (though we certainly met and saw a number of other gay couples on our Princess cruise to Alaska last year).

        I guess I have way too much unresolved trauma and body image issues rooted in my high school phys ed classes to overcome in a single lifetime. 😉

      • gaygroom

        The Partner and I did the Atlantis Mardi Gras Cruise (Rio to Buenos Aires) for my 40th birthday… and I saw all sorts of body types on the ship – even women come along for the ride (no matter what their website shows). We had a lot of fun… and met some nice folks that became very good friends of ours.

  2. We bought our suits a couple of weeks ago; they’re being altered and should be ready any day now. So really at this point I just want to make sure I don’t put on any more pounds ’round the waist. (Though at this place where we bought the suits, you only pay for each alteration once, so technically we could go back periodically for a lifetime of fluctuation, heh.) “Darling, do you really need that second dessert?” 😛

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