In For a Penny…

Today our wedding grew again.  And it was, I must admit, all your humble bloggers fault.  Lately, as the RSVP cards started to flood into our mailbox, I was starting to get a little anxious – anxious about the food.

Choosing a caterer took some time.  The Partner and I looked at a number of Toronto caterers, spoke to references, and discussed our ideas with each before choosing one.  Actually, it was the Partner who handled the bulk of the caterer selection.  As I recall, my job in the process was to look over the preliminary menus he put in front of me.

“I don’t want anything served on a stick,” I said.

Our initial idea for our wedding reception was simple: drinks, hors d’oeuvre, cheeses and fruit, wedding cake.  Our caterer would also have to supply one waiter and one bartender/waiter to serve our guests.  And (at first) the Partner and I thought that for a small afternoon wedding, this would be perfect.  But slowly the guest list began to grow and it was becoming obvious that the wedding must grow as well. 

In for a penny, in for a pound.

And the Gay Groom wanted more.  More food, that is. I thought that there should be something more, shall we say substantial?  So today the Partner and I spoke to the caterer and they suggested adding some buffet choices to our wedding luncheon menu.

“How about a platter of beef tenderloin and antipasto…” the caterer said.

“Now you’re talking,” I said.

Your humble blogger and his Partner have not yet decided the exact menu for the hors d’oeuvre and buffet but we have a list of possibilities from the caterer and are currently ‘mulling’.  We do know that there will be no fish at our wedding – as one of us has a fish allergy.

And for a fleeting moment today, I thought we had finally corralled our incredible growing wedding.

And then the cake got bigger too.

However, this time the fault lies completely with the Partner.  He had initially spoken to a number of bakeries in Toronto, requesting a quote for a three-tier cake that would feed fifteen people.  They in turn suggested a cake size.  All seemed well until last week when we went to the florist.  Since we are having flowers on our cake, we needed to know the price.  It was at the florist that we finally had a look at the dimensions of our three-tier cake for the first time.

“Let’s see,” the florist said, taking out a tape measure.  “The bottom tier will be nine inches… and the middle tier five inches… and the top three inches.”  She bit her bottom lip.

“That’s awful small,” I said.

“It is isn’t it,” the Partner said.

“Like freakishly small,” I said.

“We’ll look like giants beside it,” he said.

“Like the tiny Stonehenge model in Spinal Tap,” I said.

So today we were getting quotes for larger cakes.  It’s still three tiers… just bigger.  And since the guest list has been growing bit by bit – it’s a good thing.

And who doesn’t want more cake?

57 days to go.

Jeffrey, The Gay Groom



Filed under gay, gay canada, gay groom, gay men, gay toronto, gay wedding, gaygroom, same-sex marriage, wedding

4 responses to “In For a Penny…

  1. We feel your pain. With the first baker, we were thinking about doing a small two-tier decorated cake with a sheet cake in the kitchen (same flavors), which would keep the cost down significantly. But we were so blown away by the second baker and her three-tier proposed design that we’ve ended up approving 3 round tiers of 7″, 9″ and 11″. Plus, the design we approved is sufficiently complex and labor-intensive that it’s billed at her highest cost-per-serving rate. It’ll likely be three times more than the first baker’s proposal.

    I’m getting more excited every day, though, and feeling good about every decision we’re making, even if our costs are now looking like close to twice our original (though admittedly far too naive) budget estimate. Jeff and I are so happy about the ceremony and reception choices we’ve made, and this special day will only happen once, so I’m finding every dime we’re spending well worth it.

  2. Loved the discussion. We’re getting married 9/26 and have gone through the same kinds of discussions and our wedding list has grown as well. We’re doing a small private ceremony for family and then a big party after to celebrate not only the marriage but the fact we’ve been together for 23 years.

    • gaygroom

      Congratulations! First for being together 23 years and second on your upcoming wedding. My friends Thom and Jeff are getting married in San Francisco on 9/26 as well!

      The Partner and I will join the party a week later on 10/03 🙂

    • Loren,

      Yes, congratulations for your 23-year relationship and for your upcoming wedding. And congratulations also for the Iowa Supreme Court decision making same-sex marriage legal in that state. Best wishes for the 26th and the years to follow.


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