Men in Black

Our initial wedding concept had a wait staff of only two:  one to pour drinks and the other to serve the hors d’oeuvres to our handful of guests.

But as our wedding grew, and the number of guests rose we have also had to add more staff to our little shindig.  And since we added beef tenderloin to the menu and a buffet this week, we also needed to hire a wedding chef.  So as of today our staff now includes:

  • Head Waiter (1) for 4.5 hours
  • Chef (1) for 4.0 hours
  • Bartender/Waiter (1) for 4.5 hours

At almost as much per hour as I made when I was a computer consultant.  No, that’s not really true… I made an obscene amount of money when I consulted.

But our staff is certainly well paid (as anyone in our employ would be… just ask our cleaning lady who does so well she can now afford her own cleaning lady) and then there are the tips.  The catering contract notes that “gratuities are not included in the catering estimate”.  They can, however, put the gratuity in the final bill “for our convenience”.

And your humble blogger likes convenience – though convenience will cost you.

“Your staff”, the caterer promised, “will be well-groomed, hospitable and courteous.”

I would also expect that they are comfortable working a gay wedding.  But I shan’t think this will be a problem – the odds of finding a straight waiter anywhere in Toronto are pretty low.

“Your bartender”, our caterer continued, “will serve your wedding guests in a friendly and professionally manner, assisting them to drink responsibly while providing a safe and enjoyable atmosphere”.

But since this is an afternoon wedding with no strong liquor being served (only wine and champagne) the Gay Groom hopes that this won’t be a problem (unlike at my brother’s wedding when an aunt of mine did the charleston on a table with her dress over her head after a few too many.  But that aunt won’t be at our wedding – luckily she’s dead).

“And how would you like them to dress,” the caterer finally asked.

“Dress? I haven’t thought about it,” I said.

The Partner shrugged his shoulders.

The caterer gave us a few options and the Partner and I finally decided that the staff for our wedding be outfitted entirely in black, with crisp black shirts, ties, vest, pants and shoes.

Black sounded so… so… tres sexy.

Though it’s a bit of a shame I can’t get head and body shots of potential waiters and cast them like a play or a movie made in Bratislava, Slovakia.

Perhaps a handsome blond for the head waiter position… a tall dark brunette for the bartender position… a Jamie Oliver look-alike for the chef position…

52 days to go.

Jeffrey, The Gay Groom

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1 Comment

Filed under gay, gay atheist, gay groom, gay men, gay men toronto, gay waiter, gay wedding, gaygroom, same-sex marriage, wedding staff

One response to “Men in Black

  1. Ah, based on those last couple of paragraphs, sounds like you’d truly be marrying your “bel ami.”

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