Though your humble blogger and his Partner chose to not to use an expensive wedding planner for our small wedding, we did seek out some professional wedding advice for a fraction of the cost. How?
We bought a book.
The book we purchased was Gay and Lesbian Weddings. Planning the Perfect Same-Sex Ceremony by David Toussaint.
The Random House catalog notes: Comprehensive, fresh, and funny, Gay and Lesbian Weddings covers everything you need to know to plan the wedding of your dreams. Unlike other wedding planners, this one tackles the issues your heterosexual friends never had to consider. For instance, do you come out to Aunt Gloria before she receives the invitation and the shock of her life? Which father of the bride pays for a lesbian wedding? Who walks down the aisle first? Is it possible for members of the wedding party to be happy with what you force them to wear? (Okay, this is a universal problem.) Step-by-step and down-to-earth invaluable advice…
I’m glad they put ‘everything’ in italics for your humble blogger (else I may have misunderstood what they meant). But the thing that sold me was that the front cover of Gay and Lesbian Weddings has a quote from Rita Mae Brown:
“If you’re going to tie the knot (so long as it’s not around your partner’s neck), this is the book for you.” RITA MAE BROWN
Yep, it was dear Rita’s remark sold me on the book. For those who don’t know, Rita Mae Brown – shame on you! Rita wrote the wonderful novel, Rubyfruit Jungle (BTW is it true that a closeted Rita Mae Brown once dated a closeted Andrew (The Best Little Boy In the World) Tobias? But I digress…).
Gay and Lesbian Weddings has chapters devoted to choosing a wedding style, the wedding party, and balancing the budget (we likely should have paid more attention to that chapter). The most useful chapter for The Gay Groom was one entitled “The 12-Step Wedding Planner” (I find it amusing that weddings, like addiction recovery, have the same number of steps). According to the book, the 12 steps of wedding planning are as follows: reception food and drink, cake, flowers, music, photography, formal wear, gift registry, rings, transportation, invitations, announcements, and grooming. And your humble blogger has to admit that the book has provided helpful advice in all of these areas.
In fact their list of questions to ask the caterer was worth the $24.95 Canadian cost of the book.
Though their list of “50 classic tunes to get your crowd n the floor” may need some tweaking (“Boogie Oogie Oogie” and “Love Will Keep Us Together”?).
“Apparently it’s inappropriate to write gift registry information on the invitations,” the Partner said looking up from our Gay and Lesbian Wedding book. “People are supposed to ask you where you’re registered.”
“Hell, everyone knows that,” I said, lying through my teeth.
45 days to go.
Jeffrey, The Gay Groom